6 weeks out

I think I am experiencing what some call over training. I am tired all of the time, I am super irritable, and I catch myself wanting to come up with an excuse to not work out. I do like lifting, don't get me wrong, but I have hated cardio all my life and now I am supposed to be doing it 2 times a day for 45min each......I can't do it. I have tried it for the last few days and I already want to punch people in the face for reasons such as they are breathing too loud or they make too much noise when they walk. There has got to be a way to manipulate food or something so that I only have to do 1 cardio session per day. That is still 45min a day of cardio, but I can't handle doing it 2 times a day. I hope I will be able to handle it soon, the show is in 6 weeks.

I was doing fine until Saturday. I woke up for training and did awful. I couldn't lift the weight I normally lift, and I was so tired the entire time. I then had to follow that with weighted vest cardio. By the time I was done I was wiped out. I took a short nap and when I woke up I just felt pissed off the entire day. That night I went out with my friends to dinner. Normally I pack my meals and bring them with me. I decided that I would eat it before we went out so that I wouldn't be hungry when we got there, but that turned out not to be a good idea. I was so tired and irritated with my diet and work out schedule that I said "To hell with it!" and ordered a 4 cheese and ham macaroni dish from Jasper's (which was delicious by the way), and a skinny girl margatini, and I didn't even care. The next night I ate a cobb salad. The worst part was, that I didn't even care. I knew what I was doing.

I can't let myself give up now, I am halfway there. Although, I keep thinking that maybe I should do bikini instead of figure, just in case I am not ready due to my bad diet habits and lack of cardio.