6 weeks out

I think I am experiencing what some call over training. I am tired all of the time, I am super irritable, and I catch myself wanting to come up with an excuse to not work out. I do like lifting, don't get me wrong, but I have hated cardio all my life and now I am supposed to be doing it 2 times a day for 45min each......I can't do it. I have tried it for the last few days and I already want to punch people in the face for reasons such as they are breathing too loud or they make too much noise when they walk. There has got to be a way to manipulate food or something so that I only have to do 1 cardio session per day. That is still 45min a day of cardio, but I can't handle doing it 2 times a day. I hope I will be able to handle it soon, the show is in 6 weeks.

I was doing fine until Saturday. I woke up for training and did awful. I couldn't lift the weight I normally lift, and I was so tired the entire time. I then had to follow that with weighted vest cardio. By the time I was done I was wiped out. I took a short nap and when I woke up I just felt pissed off the entire day. That night I went out with my friends to dinner. Normally I pack my meals and bring them with me. I decided that I would eat it before we went out so that I wouldn't be hungry when we got there, but that turned out not to be a good idea. I was so tired and irritated with my diet and work out schedule that I said "To hell with it!" and ordered a 4 cheese and ham macaroni dish from Jasper's (which was delicious by the way), and a skinny girl margatini, and I didn't even care. The next night I ate a cobb salad. The worst part was, that I didn't even care. I knew what I was doing.

I can't let myself give up now, I am halfway there. Although, I keep thinking that maybe I should do bikini instead of figure, just in case I am not ready due to my bad diet habits and lack of cardio.

9 Weeks Out

I have finally gotten my diet in check, but now I have been neglecting my cardio. I skipped 3 days of cardio last week, and I thought that it would be fine until my trainer told me that I had only lost 0.5% body fat in the last 3 weeks. I have got to stop cheating on both my diets and my workout. For some reason, when I get a hang of one, I skimp out on the other. I don't know why I do that. I am going to get better at this, but I need to do it quick! My show is less than 9 weeks away and I still need to lose about 6-7% body fat. I WILL get the hang of this...I have to.

As my body composition changes, I am realizing that all of these ads for "Fast" weight loss or "Easy" dieting are CRAP. There is no easy way to change your body...zero. There are definitely fast ways, but are they healthy? A friend of mine is leaving for Vegas next week with some of her friends. One of them is overweight and wanted to lose a few pounds before the trip. Her solution was to take diuretics. She lost 10lbs from this. Yes, she was successful at losing weight, however, that choice was definitely not healthy. That weight was all water, so the minute she eats something salty and drinks ANYTHING, the weight will pack back on faster than you can say margarita!

I have a new respect for people that are going through a body transformation; whether it be for an upcoming show or because they want to lose weight. The process is hard, and what I am realizing is that the maintenance is going to be even harder. My goal is to be able to maintain a chiseled physique so that I can put it to good use. (No not for dirty things....I can't believe you would think that!) Ultimately, I would love to be a fitness model. I look at models like Jaime Eason, Monica Brant, Rachel Davis, Alicia Marie ....(I could go on forever, lol) and I admire them very much. They have taken what they are passionate about, and turned it into a career. Not only is it benefiting them, but others as well. Learning about their journey into in the health and fitness world is what jump started my decision to compete.

I started this blog in hopes to inspire myself as well as others. This is also a way for me to practice my writing skills because that is another goal of mine; to be able to write fitness columns and articles one day. I do dare to dream!

12/11 Weeks Out

I cheated. I didn't mean to; it just happened. I now have this new found love for rice cakes, and that's where it all started. If you remember from my last post, I loathed rice cakes. I would have gladly run over a bag of them with my car. Well I just realized that you can put splenda and cinnamon on them, which was recommended to me from a friend, and now all I ever want to eat is food that has cinnamon in it. That's when it happened. On Friday I decided to try my new found rice cakes, and the minute I put them in my mouth, I went on a cinnamon frenzy! I grabbed everything I could find in my pantry that had cinnamon in it; 6 pieces of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, an entire Oatmeal Raisin Cliff Bar, and 1/2 glass of white wine. Ok so the wine doesn't have cinnamon in it, I just missed wine. I then went on to eat salad at 3 different restaurants which you would think would be ok, but those salads probably had more calories than orange chicken. I also had about 6 pieces of calamari, which of course were fried.

I am back on my diet now, full force, and I feel as though this mishap has taught me a lesson. After I cheated, I felt so crappy. To the point where I didn't even want to work out because I thought I had ruined my chances. However, my trainer assured me that it's ok and it happens to everyone. I just need to re-focus and get back on the horse.

I am slowly starting to notice a change in my body. My % body fat has dropped from 19 to 15.75 in the last 3 weeks. That's great because I only need to lose 6-7% more which, I should be able to do in the next 11 weeks. I have no problem being ready ahead of time rather than struggling to be ready at the last minute.  I have also noticed that my arms are a little more defined than they used to be as well as my legs. It's definitely not a drastic change, but a change non the less.

I have met so many wonderful people ever since I started this journey that have been very encouraging. Many of them are very well known in the figure/fitness/bodybuilding world and being  around them, makes me want to perform well. They give me the motivation to keep going. I look at them and am reassured that it is possible and I am very capable of doing this. I can't wait until my show in July! Not just because I can eat regular food, but because I feel as though this show is a doorway to a future in fitness.